Nothing But a Façade
by Palnalapax
Summary: She glances at me, her raven-colored hair swaying as she takes in my dress-clad form. "It's cute, Nagisa. It looks good on you. Don't you agree?" She pulls me into a hug, a hug that might be considered warm if not for the nails digging into my collarbone. Though I hate this outfit, I look up with a smile rivaling hers and say, "Yes, mother. It's lovely"
1. Chapter One

" _ **It'd look good on you."**_

* * *

Mother maintains a death grip on my wrist as she pulls me through the many shops of the Kunugigaoka Outlet Mall. It's somewhat disturbing how she can be so passionate about shopping this early in the morning. Only nine-thirty a.m., yet we've been at this for an hour. She didn't even give me a chance to grab breakfast before she dragged me out of bed, so much for sleeping in on a Saturday.

My stomach involuntarily groans as she lets go of me and goes to leaf through the many racks of clothing, undoubtedly looking for a lacey dress to stuff me into. Her short black-hair sways a bit as she glances up at me, her zestful face falling as she acknowledges my stomach growl. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone, most likely to check the time. After glancing at the screen, she pockets it and approaches me. Her voice comes out slightly annoyed, as if she truly believes that I have the ability to control my hunger, "Let's get breakfast before continuing."

* * *

I sit at the table while mother stands at the counter, always insistent about ordering for me. My eyes wander to the window. Outside, I see the early risers rushing through the mall, all of them hoping to be the one to snag the best outfit at the lowest price. I don't see any familiar faces in the crowd, which is really reassuring, since it will only be a few minutes before my mom finds a dress for me to try on. I'm dragged out of my thinking when she sits down across, a tray occupying space in her hands.

She deliberately removes a piece of bread from the tray and gives it to me before taking one for herself. We eat in silence until she speaks, "How's school been, Nagisa?"

"Good," I stop there but continue when I remember that she hates one word answers, "We're starting a new unit in geometry and I've improved in English lately-"

She breaks in, as if she wasn't even listening to my answer, "Any news about getting out of E-Class?"

Again, this topic. My mother loves to talk about the undeniable fact that I'm E-Class. Despite how good I'm doing in school, as long as I'm in the lowest of the classes she'll never acknowledge the improvement. It doesn't matter how much I try to avoid the subject, somehow we always manage to start talking about it whenever we converse with each other.

"Mother," I say, trying my best to approach the sensitive subject. "I'm doing well in E-"

"It'd look good on you. That outfit, I mean." She cuts me off again. When I look up from my bread, I notice she's not even looking at me. I follow her gaze until my eyes land on what she's referring to. My stomach churns when I see it. Across the pathway, in a shop window, on a mannequin, is a cerulean long-sleeved blouse, a small pair of khaki shorts, and argyle patterned thigh-high socks. _That poor mannequin._

I don't know what to say to her observation, I rarely ever do when she says stuff like this. She doesn't give me a chance to comment, anyway. In a second she's grabbed her purse and slid out of our booth. Her eyes take root on my form, looking at me expectantly as I put down my piece of bread.

I reluctantly follow her as we make our way across the pathway, she barely notices me as her eyes stay locked on the dressed up figurine. Now that we have entered the shop, my mother rushes to the back of the store and questions the woman at the counter about the outfit on display. The cashier gestures to another woman, who, in turn, goes through a few racks and pulls out an outfit matching the one on the mannequin.

Ensemble in hand, mother turns toward me with a smile, a smile that means no matter what I do I'm going to be out of my pants in that outfit. I approach her cautiously, using all of my willpower to keep myself from sprinting out of the store, away from the girly clothing and away from her unrealistic expectations. She leads me to the dressing room in the corner of the store before thrusting the clothing into my hands and shoving me into an empty stall.

In the small space, I get a better look at the outfit. The blue blouse actually fades into a light purple, I note. If I didn't consider the circumstances, I would say that this outfit is actually pretty cute. But, alas, the scenario speaks loudly and two facts remain: One; I'm a _boy_. Two; I like wearing _boy_ clothes.

Still staring at the clothing, I'm quite surprised when I hear my mother's voice calling me. " _Nagisa?_ Are you almost done?"

I continue to glare at the outfit, maybe, if I'm lucky, my scowl will burn a hole in it. As I stare at the feminine apparel, I start to feel sick, like I might throw up any second. _I can't do this_.

"Um, mom, can we go shopping some other time?" I hate the way my voice cracks when I'm nervous. It's silent for a few seconds before she answers.

" _What?_ " She says incredulously, as if the mere thought of me not wanting to shop with her is unbelievable. I shuffle nervously in the stall, I can feel her glare, despite not being able to see it. Yet, I persist.

"Yeah, I think I might be-" I start to say, but, for what must be the third time today, she cuts me off.

"Nagisa, wear it, wear the outfit." Her voice comes out calm but I'm sure that if you concentrated the malice in it our class would have no problem killing Korosensei. There's no point, I realize. I shouldn't even attempt to go against her command, because, once she gets angry, wearing a dress suddenly looks very appealing.

Slowly, I let my pants pool around ankles and lift my cotton T –shirt over my head, every part of me wishing to keep them on, but my limbs stay smart enough to do the necessary work. I barely register the silky fabric of the blouse as I pull it over my head, nor do I notice the stiffness of the pair of shorts, or the scratchy feel of the socks when I pull them up my legs. Because, to me, every part of the outfit feels the same: Too tight.

Despite it always being the right size, I feel like I'm suffocating every time I wear this type of clothing, like I might die if I continue to wear these wretched clothes my mother picks out for me. I want to claw my way out this dumb top and tear through this stupid pair of shorts, but, instead of doing all the things _I want to do_ , I do what my mother anticipates from me.

I slowly open the stall door and step out of the stall, leaving behind my wishful thinking as I look at my mother. The expression on her face is euphoric as she takes in my appearance. She takes me up into a tight hug, a hug that might be considered warm if not for the nails digging into my collar bone, surely a few crescent shaped scratches would be left there. Resting her head on mine, I hear her speak quietly yet ecstatically.

"I knew it look good on you. Don't you agree, Nagisa?" I shudder at the cheerfulness of her voice. When I don't answer, she lets go of me and repeats her question.

"It looks good, Nagisa? _Right?_ " The last word is not a question, for it leaves no room for argument.

After putting on my fakest-and happiest-smile, I look up at her. I force my voice to top the joyfulness in hers. "Yes, I like it very much."

She smiles. Just like I knew she would. We're both smiling. The only problem is that one of us feels like killing himself.

* * *

 **A/N: Started another AssClass fanfic! This one is also inspired by the fact that Nagisa's mom is a genuine bitch!**

 **Please review and tell me if I should continue,**

 **Palpex**


	2. Chapter Two

" _ **Why weren't you waiting like I told you to?"**_

* * *

I stare at my reflection in the shop window, the outfit is a perfect fit, of course. Mom brought it as soon as she came to the conclusion that it looked good. Not only did she buy it, but I'm stuck wearing it until she decides that this shopping trip is over. I can only hope that it ends soon, because the mall-on a Saturday-is a popular hangout for the teens of Kunugigaoka.

Mother tugs on my sleeve and I look up at her. "Stop spacing out, Nagisa." Nodding, I follow her as she pulls me into another shop. This time, though, she's shopping for herself. I can only observe as she quickly grabs a suit, checks the size, and brings it to the counter. What angers me the most is that she didn't even try it on. Not to be petty, but she has me try on every single outfit before she buys it, even if she knows it's the correct size. Something that also upsets me is the fact that her suit has pants. The clothes she wears are more masculine than the ones I, the son (for clarification: boy, lad, _**MALE!**_ ), get to wear.

She returns to me quickly, a bag now in her hand. Looking at me, she gestures to the small beauty store across the pathway. I follow her, hoping that any reluctance I feel doesn't show in the way I carry myself. If it does, she doesn't care as she enters the parlor. Taking in the store, I can feel my stomach sinking so fast that I'm pretty sure the janitor's going to be cleaning it up. The store is the epitome of girlishness, and not the cool, ripped-jeans girlishness either. When I say "girly", I mean pink bows, shiny hair clips, and stupidly expensive lip gloss. To sum it up, it looks like someone dropped a glitter bomb.

Mother turns toward me with a genuine smile, a smile that looks strangely evil from my perspective. She grabs my wrists and leads me towards a glass counter covered with a selection of bows. Her hand sweeps over the variety and she quickly latches onto a blue and purple one. Within a second it's in my hair and I'm turned towards a mirror I hadn't noticed earlier.

As I pretend to be interested in my appearance, I feel her arms snaking around my neck from behind, almost as if they are a scarf. The face she makes can only be described as serene when she rests her face in my hair. She unwraps one arm from my neck as she reaches to undo my pigtails. I'm slightly surprised that she hadn't done that right after making me wear this getup. The arm finds its place around my neck once again and she further buries her face in my past shoulder length hair. I can feel her lips moving against my scalp as she mumbles. Though it's somewhat difficult, I manage to hear the things she says.

"My beautiful _daughter_ Nagisa- _chan_. You're so pretty, it's a shame you act like such a tomboy. You should at _least_ wear the girl's uniform, the one you _should_ be wearing, when you go to school. A _thing_ as cute as you should wear cute clothes." Sometimes, when she thinks I don't hear her, she talks like this, like she is truly certain that I am a girl. On most days she at least gives me the benefit of doubt when she doesn't add a suffix onto my name.

I tightly shut my eyes as she continues to mutter similar things into my hair. It's all I can do keep myself from crying. After about a minute she pulls her face out of my hair and when she uncoils her arms from around my neck they come to rest on my shoulders. Her smile is sweet as she looks down at me and speaks. "It looks nice on you Nagisa, it even matches your top."

She gives my shoulder a squeeze before going to the front counter to pay for the accessory. Maybe it would have been better if I was born a girl, that way both of us would be released from our suffering. Mother would finally get what she wants most in life-a daughter-and I would finally be accepted by her. My empty gaze travels to my neck, where my small Adam's apple rests idly, a constant reminder of what I'm not.

My mother returns, her smile much smaller than when she left me at the mirror. She gives me a stern look and speaks in a firm voice, "Stay here, Nagisa. I need to go to the ATM since this store only takes cash." I nod and I swear that I see her glare at the cashier as she exits the store. Anyone that puts a damper in her good mood is destined for one of her glares.

I move to lean against the glass counter, my face wiped of all emotion as I stare at a nearby lip gloss display. I continue to stare at it until I hear a hauntingly familiar voice-or, _voices_.

"Doesn't that one look good?" A playful voice questions.

"Nah, I don't think it'll look that good on me." A shy voice answers.

"C'mon, at least try it on! We've been here forever and you haven't bought anything." The same teasing voice answers. I hide behind the various displays as I make my way closer to the two voices. Hiding behind a mannequin, I peek from behind it to confirm my suspicions. My heart drops when I see the two girls, one with black hair, the other a strawberry blonde. _Kanzaki and Rio_.

Kanzaki stands in front of a mirror as Rio tries to put an unconventionally large bow in her black hair. _Okay, I need to get of here_. The last thing I need is Rio teasing me about my attire. It only gets worse when Rio quickly turns in my direction. Only now do I realize that, in the process of studying the two classmates, that I exposed most of my face. Nakamura's eyes widen slightly but, before she can be sure it's me that she's seen, I sprint. I can hear shuffling behind me as she follows me. _Shit_.

I can hear the teenager at the counter yelling as I run out the store, probably because I was still wearing the bow. It's not like I want to steal the bow, it'll just take too much time to take it off. Hopefully, I can come back later and pay for the accessory.

I quickly weave through the crowds, making sure not to bump into anyone else I know as I make my way toward the woman's lavatory (It'd be a little weird to anyone passing by if I went into the men's restroom, considering my apparel).

I duck into a stall, shut the door, and sit on the commode (I must admit that I prefer the girl's latrine to the boy's because of the fact that the stalls always have doors). I can hear the door to the restroom open and then shut. I hear the patter of footsteps as I sit on the toilet seat. My breathing hitches when the footsteps stop right in front of my stall. Seeing her feet approach my door, I freeze.

"What are you doing, Rio? You suddenly ran off." I hear Kanzaki's voice from entrance of the bathroom and Rio stops approaching my door. She turns away and heads towards the other girl. Her voice comes out mischievous. "Ah, I just thought I saw someone we know…would've been funny if it really was him." She mutters the last part to herself, but I manage to hear it.

"Oh? Who'd you think you saw?" Kanzaki says.

"Nah, doesn't really matter." Rio answers. They converse for a few minutes before I get to hear the comforting sound of the door shutting and them leaving. I continue to sit on the toilet seat for a few minutes, just to be sure that they're gone. Once out the bathroom I find a place to sit down, since I'm absolutely not going back to the boutique.

While on the bench, I realize something…my mother's probably waiting for me. I immediately get up and run to the ATM closest to the beauty store. Mother's not there so I run around the surrounding area, checking all the closest ATMs. As I'm checking the third one, I sense a threatening aura behind me. I don't have to turn around to know who's there.

" _Nagisa_ ," Her tone is accusing and venomous. " _Why weren't you waiting like I told you to?"_

* * *

 **A/N: So, decided to continue this. Anyway, some people are questioning how I'm going to make this different from my other fanfic, "A Warm Haze". Honestly, it's hard to fully answer that question in the amount of words I use in my author notes so I'll just say you can continue reading to find out. So, I guess I'll see you before two weeks is up.**

 **Please review and have a good night,**

 **Palpex**


	3. Chapter Three

" _ **How can you be so fucking inconsiderate!?"**_

* * *

"It hurts." I say quietly as mother yanks my arm and pulls me through the mall, towards the exit. She doesn't even glance at me as we exit the large building. The morning sun makes me squint as she drags me across the parking to the car. Her nails dig into my wrist so roughly I can already see droplets of blood.

When we reach our small car, she opens the passenger side and practically throws me, along with the items we bought earlier, into the seat, as if she's disgusted by the fact that she even had to touch me. It's almost comical how her mood changes so quickly. Almost. The car shakes as she slides into her own seat and roughly slams the door. I can feel the anger rolling off her in waves as she shoves the key into the ignition and starts the car.

The buildings pass by in a blur as she speeds down the road. Nervously fidgeting, I keep my eye on the hazy scenery as we make our way towards home, hoping that mother will suddenly go back to being as happy as she was before. "What were you doing, Nagisa?" The words come out like a growl.

I continue to look out the window for a few seconds before answering. "I was looking for you." The words come out like a mumble and I hate myself for it. This is not how we should be. I should be able to talk to her without worrying about how she will react to everything I say. Glancing over at her, I notice that she's clenching the steering wheel so hard that the whites of her knuckles are showing and she has **that** look in her focused eyes, the look that tells me she feels nothing but anger at the moment. I would be lying if I said I'm not worried about what'll happen to me.

"I told you to wait until I come back." She sounds angrier, obviously the answer I gave is incorrect. I nod and look down at the clenched fists in my lap.

"I'm sor-" She lifts a hand to silence me as she continues to drive with the other. The car loses all warmth with her next statement.

"Oh, you'll _be_ sorry."

* * *

I sit on the couch, once again fidgeting as her calculating gaze lands on me. She continues to pace back in forth in front of me, every so often glancing at me with that scary look. Now, though, she stops in front of me and kneels so that our eyes meet. Her hand reaches up towards me and I automatically flinch. Brown eyes stare into my own cerulean ones, as if daring me to flinch a second time.

Light blue strands of hair dance over her fingers as her gaze lowers to study my hair and she continues to play with it. I'm so distracted by my fear that I almost don't hear her. "What should I do with you, Nagisa?" I bite my lip nervously when she looks back into my eyes with a hopeful expression, as if she, too, wants to be out of this situation.

After letting go of my hair she stands back up, a look of pure desperation on her face. "Nagisa, why weren't you in the shop? I told you to wait, didn't I?"

Gulping down nothing, I try to find a way to word what I want to say. "Some classmates of mine were there and I didn't want to be seen." I say weakly, hoping with every fiber of my being that she'll drop the subject, but being intelligent enough to know that that's impossible.

Her eyes widen at my statement and she reaches out to grab my arm. I let out a small yelp as she pulls me off the couch. Her voice comes out disturbingly sweet as she speaks. " _Nagisa, why_ wouldn't _you want people to see you?_ " She asks, as if daring me to answer her honestly.

I can feel myself withering as she waits for my response. Tightening her grip on my arm, her steady gaze stays on me. Pure terror races through my veins as I try to avert my gaze. To keep me from escaping any part of her prison, she uses her free hand to tilt my chin up so I'm forced to look up at her. The next words leave my mouth on impulse. "I'm sor-Ow!" This time I am cut off by neither a hand nor her voice.

Reaching up to grip my throbbing arm, I wince when my hand brushes against the stinging skin. Mother continues to look at me with the same steady gaze, as if she, herself, does not acknowledge what she just did. Her voice comes out cold and harsh. "Nagisa, I asked for an answer, not an apology."

She lets go of my chin and I look down at the floor. After a few minutes of silence, I look back up at her. I try my very best to force the words to leave my quivering lips. "It's embarrassing."

When she stays silent I know I've said something wrong. Forcing myself to look up, I'm frightened by what I see. Her expression is one of pure, unadulterated rage, nothing else shows in the way she looks at me. She reaches up with her hand and grabs my other arm, causing me to cringe.

Her words come out like a roar as she shakes me roughly. "What do you mean you're embarrassed!?"

Her sharp pointed nails draw blood as she continues to grip my arms. "I'm not embarrassed! I didn't mean that!" I yell desperately, trying my best to take back my earlier foolhardy statement. She doesn't even acknowledge my answer as she continues to hang on to me. Quickly and painfully, she yanks me towards her so that we are even closer.

Her tone cruel and detached, she speaks. "What is wrong with you, Nagisa? Why can't you just be a _good_ kid?" It hurts, and not just because of the small stream of blood I can feel trickling down both of my arms from where she is gripping me. I can feel a slightly familiar choking sensation, but I swallow it down, praying that it won't come back. I'm about to try to pry her hands off my skinny arms when she continues.

"What did I ever do to be punished, to not even be able to have the one thing I want in this world? Can you answer me, Nagisa?" I stay silent, knowing I don't have the answer to her question.

She says more, not really acknowledging my silence. "I work _so_ hard for you! I buy clothes that I _know_ will look good on you! I _sacrifice_ so many things for your sake! And you repay me by saying that it's embarrassing! How can you be so fucking inconsiderate!?" Her change of demeanor catches me off guard and I try to escape from her vice grip. I don't have to work hard because, within seconds, she's slung me onto the floor.

Grimacing as I hit the rough wooden surface, I'm surprised when she falls next to me. As she crumples onto the floor, she looks fragile and weak, almost like a child despite her being taller than me. She's faced away from me as she talks, her voice small and wavering. It takes me a second to figure out that she's crying. "N-nagisa, you don't u-understand why I'm like this. I-I've lived and I've made mistakes, mistakes that had consequences I d-don't want you to go through. I only want what is b-best for you, so you don't end up unhappy like me." She reaches out and I have to keep myself from shying away from her touch. Instead of hitting me, she grips onto my purple argyle pattered sock. Her hair covers her face when she looks at me but I can still tell how distraught she is.

I listen to what she says, trying my best to not upset her further as I try to comfort her. "I'm sorry, mother. I've been selfish and I didn't even think of your feelings."

As I say it, I hate the fact that a part of me actually believes it.

* * *

 **A/N: Couldn't update earlier because of internet problems. As you can see, Nagisa doesn't have much backbone in this fic. Maybe someone will help him, many not…Depends on how sadistic I'm feeling. Well, I have nothing else to say so I'll just go.**

 **Please review and stuff like that,**

 **Palpex**


	4. Chapter Four

" _ **What were you thinking about?"**_

* * *

I hear a click as I close the door to the apartment. I'm sweating slightly but a smile tugs at the corner of my lips as I let out a sigh of relief.

 _Safe_. _I'm Safe._ It feels good to be safe. I grab onto my pair of khaki pants, just to make sure that I'm not just imagining this safeness. I've survived another one of **those** mornings, meaning that I've managed to leave the apartment, while my mother is in a foul mood, _wearing pants_.

As I breathe another sigh of relief, I lean over to pick up my school bag. Slowly, I make my way to the stairs that lead down to the lobby.

* * *

Leaning against the wall right outside the apartment complex, on his phone, it's impossible not to spot his vibrantly colored hair (Though I really shouldn't be talking). Back in my second year at Kunugigaoka, when I first became friends with Karma Akabane, he used to wait _in_ the lobby when we walked to school. A few months ago, though, he started a fight with someone in the lobby and the receptionist that's here on most days doesn't like him being here anymore.

I wave to the blond haired receptionist as I leave the lobby. She looks up from her computer and gives me a short wave back. The glass sliding doors make a slight squeaking sound whenever they open so Karma easily notices me when I walk through them.

He pockets his phone and opens his mouth, a trace of curiosity on his usually bored face as he comments on my arrival, "You ran into trouble with _her_ again, didn't you?" It's not much of a question, seeing as both of us know the answer, so I don't respond.

His amber eyes meet mine, as if expecting me to say something back. When I don't, he lets out a huff and starts walking. I follow, feeling slightly frustrated with myself. "It doesn't matter, anyway. If she did anything, I mean." The words leave my mouth before I even finish the thought. Karma stops abruptly, and it only takes me a second to realize that I said something wrong.

"It _does_ matter, Nagisa. _She_ shouldn't be doing stuff like that to you." He turns towards me and locks eyes with me, this time earnestly wanting me to respond to his statement, to _agree_ with him. But, instead, I look to the side as he tries to hold my gaze, not wishing to engage in a conversation that is focused on this subject.

Soon, he stops trying to get me to talk, and continues walking ahead of me. As we walk, a memory comes to me. It is of last year, when my friendship with Karma changed.

" _Wait right here for a second. I need to get something inside." I say to Karma as we stand in front of my apartment. He doesn't question the command, by now he's used to not being invited into the apartment I share with my mother. So many times I've entered his house and not once has he been invited into mine; it makes me feel a bit guilty. But, honestly, I think I would feel worse if I invited him in and my mother did something that made my redheaded friend think of me differently._

 _He nods nonchalantly, and I disappear from his sight and into the apartment. As I enter the hall, I remember the other reason I've never let him in before. The photos lining the wall are something I would never want him to see. Dozens of pictures depict me in several outfits-mostly dresses-that my mother has forced me into._

 _I have to go through the kitchen to get to my bedroom and, disappointingly, my mother sits at the table, a bag by her side. A smile breaks onto her face as she stands up._

" _Nagisa, I picked up a wonderful blouse for you on the way back from work today!" She says cheerfully. It almost makes me_ _feel like a bad person when I respond._

" _Can I try it on later? I'm about to go back out again." It's a pretty reasonable statement, I think. She seems to be in a good mood today, I think. She'll agree and I'll try on the shirt later, I think. I'm obviously not good at thinking because all of my thoughts are wrong._

" _Whatever you're about to do can wait, just try this on." She says, still cheerful._

" _Mom, I really can't do that. Someone's waiting for me." I'm stupid. I_ must _be stupid to say something like that._

 _Her smile quickly falls and she leans over to pick up the bag. After taking out a blue and white sparkled lacy blouse, she thrusts it towards me. "Wear it," she orders, her tone drained of all cheerfulness it held only seconds earlier. I stand there, debating whether I should follow the order or not, disillusioned into thinking I have a choice._

 _She takes my stalling as defiance and immediately her face changes from one of firmness to one of deep annoyance and agitation, very close to anger. In a fluid motion, she lifts the top over my head and I make the mistake of stepping back._

 _I hear the rapid fire crashing before I even notice that I accidentally got too close to the dishes mother had most likely cleaned earlier. My eyes widen in shock and pure dread of what's going to happen next. Once my mother's agitated, it only takes something small to send her into anger mode. Usually a slip of the tongue or hesitance to follow her orders does the trick. Knocking over a stack of glasses definitely puts me outside of her patience zone._

 _In what must be less than a second, her hand is raised, representing my impending doom. My back hits the edge of the wooden countertop none-too-softly. Within the second, her hand is raised again._

" _Hey, Nagisa, I heard I crash. Everything okay in here?" The voice catches me off guard and it obviously catches mother off guard too when she freezes._

 _My eye slowly drifts to the entrance of the kitchen, where Karma stares, a shocked expression on his face. I can almost see the thoughts whirring in his head as his expression changes to one of confusion and then to one of cold anger directed at my mother._

 _I know he's figured it out. I know my cheek has red, hand-shaped splotch on it and I know my mother is standing over me threateningly. I also know Karma is not an idiot. The way he glares at the woman standing over me is proof of that._

 _I also know that this changes things, so when I speak, I adopt the same cold tone my mother's used with me on so many occasions, "Get out, Karma."_

 _Contrary to my tone, my eyes are pleading, hoping that he'll realize that he should just leave. He doesn't, of course. He's never been one to back away from a challenge._

" _What the hell are you doing," he addresses my mother angrily._

" _Nothing," I answer for her, knowing that she's not going to answer someone that addresses her so rudely._

" _What the hell are you doing to Nagisa!?" Karma repeats again, totally ignoring me._

 _My mother turns toward Karma, her face morphing into a chaotic expression that I've only seen her wear enough times that I could count them on one hand._

" _Get out," she says coldly. "No one invited you in so get out, you_ _ **pest**_ _." She finishes without remorse. Karma continues to stand at the entrance, holding his ground._

" _Karma…" I trail off, not really knowing what to say to him in the presence of my mother._

 _She turns towards me with her crazed expression. "You too, you get out too."_

 _Before I even have time to move, she shouts, "BOTH OF YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! GET OUT, NOW!"_

 _Unlike Karma, I don't need to be persuaded much anymore. Darting from under her, I grab Karma's hand as I leave the hostile environment I call home. Leaning against the gray apartment door from the outside, I breathe heavily. I let my eyes fall on Karma, who's staring at me._

" _What was happening before I came in there, Nagisa?" His voice comes out surprising calm but the look in his eyes tell me I won't be able to dismiss this question without a full,_ honest _explanation. And so, that's what I decide to give him._

As I walk on the side of the road, following behind Karma, I can't help but wonder about the time before that incident. Back then, Karma was never reluctant about leaving me when he walked me home and never asked if I ran into trouble in the morning. Now, he does both of those things.

"Hey! Catch up, Nagisa!" As I hear the familiar voice, I realize I've slowed my pace and am at least six meters behind Karma. He chuckles to himself as I run to catch up with his long strides.

"What were you thinking about?" He asks.

I shrug and answer, "Something that happened awhile back." He looks at me quizzically but I only smile in response. It's a memory I would rather not have but I can't stop myself from smiling whenever I think of it. Yes, that incident changed our friendship, but Karma still stays by my side and, despite being overprotective sometimes, I'm happy that he continues to associate himself with me.

* * *

 **A/N: Please forgive me for taking so long to update. It's nearing the end of the school year and all my teachers are drowning us in projects. Actually, there's going to be some changing of POV in this story but it's not going to show up for a while. Thanks for the 100+ follows!**

 **I will hopefully see ya'll later,**

 **Palpex**


	5. Chapter Five

" _ **Hey, do you have a sister or something?"**_

* * *

I sit in class, flicking a black mechanical pencil occasionally as Korosensei goes on about a subject I haven't been paying enough attention to to name. My mind wonders to what happened on Saturday and I find myself glancing at Rio from the corner of my eye. I immediately look back to the front of the classroom when I find her staring intently at me, seemingly paying absolutely no attention to the yellow octopus's lesson (though I shouldn't be talking).

Quickly, I pull a notebook out of my desk to make it look like I'm doing something. Though still feeling her scorching gaze from behind, I try my best to ignore it and attempt to follow Korosensei's lesson.

"…and you'll be choosing your groups, rather than me choosing for you! And remember that each group needs to have five people; any extras should join separate groups."

I stare open-mouthed as he zooms out of the classroom as soon as he finishes the statement, most likely headed out to collect a sweet treat from one foreign country or another. I rack my brain, trying to no avail to recall any one detail from what he was saying earlier. I glance a Rio and, based on her absolutely blank expression, I know she's just as lost me. This fact also gives me reason to believe that she's been staring at me for more than a few seconds.

Scanning the classroom, I see other students getting out their lunch boxes and moving their desks to sit by their friends, all of them perfectly content since they actually listened during the class.

Even as everyone starts shifting into their friend circles for lunch, I stay at my seat. I know I should probably get my lunch out too, but I also know I'm too distracted at the moment to eat. Not even focusing on what I'm doodling in the margins of my science notebook, my mind dwells on the situation with my mother over the weekend. Less centered on the subjective fact that my mother was being "difficult" (a term she has used _several_ times to describe me) at the mall and afterward, my mind again comes to a more important matter at the moment.

I had been _seen_. Someone I know _saw_ me. And this person is suspicious of me. I've never, _ever_ been seen or caught by someone I know (either that or they've never had the gall to tell me they'd seen me). I've always been on guard, constantly watching to make sure a situation like this wouldn't arise. But, it seems that I just got unlucky this time. For the third time, I glance across the room to Rio's desk from the corner of my eye. She's not there.

"Nagisa. _Nagisa._ " A familiar voice startles me out of my thoughts. I turn towards its source. _Rio_.

She leans on my desk, her lunchbox in her hand. Dyed blonde hair frames her neutral face.

After closing my notebook, I turn fully in my chair to face her, "Yes?" It takes all of my courage to get the question out, and even despite that I still manage to let my voice crack in that single syllable.

I start feeling even more nervous when she doesn't answer me, instead opting to stare at me. When she seems to have gotten enough of my appearance, she speaks. "Hey, do you have a sister or something?"

I deflate slightly at the question, knowing where this is headed. This type of situation being a part of the endless list of reasons why I hate my mother's "hobby". I look at her, cock my head to the side and ask in an inquiring tone, "No, why do you ask?"

She studies me a bit longer and shakes her head slightly, "Eh, it's nothing important, just something I saw this weekend."

I sigh softly as my eyes shamefully drift to the ground, knowing exactly of the incident that's on her mind. I look back up, slightly surprised to see that she's still there. "Oh, is there anything else you wanted?"

"Yeah," she lifts her lunch box by the cloth and smiles, "You want to eat lunch with us?" She haphazardly gestures to the classroom door where Sugino's head bobs animatedly as he discusses something with Kayano-probably baseball-related based on the way my green-haired friend nods absentmindedly, not verbally contributing as she knows nothing on the subject.

I send the fake blonde a forcefully cheerful smile and nod, happy to be off the former subject.

Her own _real_ smile grows a little broader as she takes in my response.

* * *

Kayano, Sugino, Rio, and me sit in a circle on the grass beside the school.

"I tried out a new pudding recipe yesterday." Kayano says cheerfully, putting down her water bottle after taking a gulp. I nod in acknowledgment of her comment, not knowing how she manages to find the time to try out pudding recipes all the time.

I'm about to respond with something when Sugino speaks up, "Hey, do you guys want to form a group for the project?"

Rio looks up from her lunchbox and seems to think about the question for a few short seconds before answering curtly. "Yeah. Okay."

I nod, hoping that he or Kayano would reiterate the point of the project. Kayano studies her water bottle for a bit before answering. "Don't we need another person to become a group, though?"

Sugino looks down at the grass for a moment and nods, "Yeah, you're right. We should probably get a fifth person before lunch is done, else everybody except the three extras will already be in their groups."

I, in fact, would like to invite Karma to join the group but I choose to keep my mouth shut, knowing that Sugino tends to be uncomfortable around the smart delinquent known as Karma Akabane. So, when Sugino asks this question, I find the scuff marks on my boots very interesting. Kayano's silently debating something beside me, probably wondering if she should invite someone. Sugino continues to stare at us, waiting for us to come up with a person's name.

Rio speaks up first, "How about we ask Karma?" I silently forgive her for the innocent yet nerve-wracking questions she asked earlier. Sugino pales considerably but does not voice his discomfort with the suggestion, not so outspoken that he would risk offending Rio or me by objecting. I smile from behind my hand at his reaction. Kayano also notices Sugino's change in demeanor but doesn't seem to place the source of it as she asks him if there's something wrong.

The black-haired teen glances at her and smiles rather bitterly, "Nothing, really."

She takes the answer at face value, probably deciding the issue isn't all that important. Of course Kayano, not particularly having anything against any single person in the class does not show any significant reaction to Rio's suggestion. So, she turns to Rio and tells her that she's fine with the fifth person being Karma.

Rio turns to me and raises her eyebrows as if to ask "You're fine with it, right?", only needing clarification since it would not make much sense for me to object seeing as me and Karma are good friends.

"I'm good with it.", I say aloud, ignoring Sugino's barely noticeable shutter in response to my answer.

Kayano claps her hands together, a satisfied grin on her face, "Well, I guess that settles it. As long as Karma says yes we'll have a full group."

Sugino smiles a nonsmile in response but cooperates nonetheless. He turns toward Rio, "Could you ask him now?"

Rio looked at him with a lopsided grin. "I would but I don't know where he goes during lunch," she looks at me, "I'm pretty sure Nagisa does though."

"Assuming you know where he is, could you go ask him, Nagisa-kun?" Kayano caps her bottle, the question in her eyes as she speaks to me.

I uncross my legs and stand, "I can go ask him now." She nods as I pick up my finished lunch and head to the woods, where-if my memory serves me well-I'm sure Karma spends time sitting in trees thinking about stuff I've never asked him about.

* * *

As predicted, I do find Karma atop a tree. He notices me before I notice him. In fact, the only reason I _do_ notice him is because he makes the mistake of studying me from his perch. I don't know why-maybe it's just my general insecurity-, but I've always been able to sense when someone's staring at me. So, the moment Karma starts staring, I turn to the side and look up, immediately spotting him.

As soon as our eyes meet a Cheshire grin stretches across his face and he drops from his branch, landing in a crouch beside me. "Something you need, Nagisa?"

He says it lightheartedly but his eyes carry a dim worry since I rarely ever seek him out during lunch with good news, "It's nothing bad, Karma, I just wanted to see if you want to join our group for the project."

"Our?"

"Kayano, Sugino, Rio, and I." I clarify and wince slightly when Karma's smirk widens once he hears Sugino's name, well aware of the baseball lover's fear of him.

"I'll join." I sigh, relieved that he's agreed. Something's still bugging me, though.

Karma picks up on it, "Something else wrong, Nagisa?"

I cough into my fisted hand before answering, "Eh, Karma, what's the project on?"

* * *

 **Hey guys! If you thought I abandoned this, I don't blame you cause I'm sorry for updating so sporadically but, disappointedly so, I can't promise to update regularly. That aside, thank you for all the kind Reviews and the 200+ Follows and 100+ Favorites!  
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